The dating game is tough, however here are some ways to make the best of it.
1. Never Fall in Love with Someone’s Potential
The first rule of dating is to never fall for a girl/boy already dating someone else. While your ‘game’ might be better than his/hers, there’s a significant risk that they’ll return to their crush. As attractive as this person may be, it would be best to vest your interests and love elsewhere to prevent heartache. Entering into a relationship with someone already dating is already a red flag – how sure are you they won’t leave you for another?
2. Don’t Stick to Someone That’s Not Interested
It is relatively easy to know when someone is interested in you or not, even on the first meeting. The most notable signs to watch out for include inattentiveness, having no time for you, making excuses, and seeming too controlling. If anything shows these signs, it is best to believe and let them go. Although you may be willing to give everything for them, cutting ties before you are emotionally attached will save you lots of heartaches.
3. Don’t Allow to Be Manipulated
Although no one is perfect, some personalities aren’t worth your time, effort, or even love. A manipulative person will always look for ways to control you, no matter how much they try or apologize. It is one thing for one to make a mistake and genuinely apologize and another for them to keep doing the same thing. One way to avoid manipulation is to focus on people that are equally interested in investing in the relationship. As long as they aren’t actively interested in pursuing the relationship, they are wasting your time and emotions.
Some people will not only take advantage of your love for them but also exploit you financially. Financial exploitation is the very last thing you want in a relationship. You mean nothing to them if the financial factor is eliminated. If he/she keeps asking for financial favors and makes excuses not to spend time with you, or will only come if you can take them out, you might be dating a gold-digger.
4. Learn To Speak Your Mind on Social Issues
It is good to be outspoken, especially on social issues and indiscrimination. Anyone showing signs of indiscrimination to other people might not be worth your time or love. Women are the biggest victims of social indiscrimination and will often keep quiet, even when one is racist or sexist. This is because women are taught to be submissive and never to show anger or be outspoken on issues that make them seem independent or difficult. This shouldn’t, however, be the case. Make it clear that you don’t tolerate such behaviours and issues and talk to him/her about it before getting into a relationship. Going mute on some of these issues could come back to haunt you.
5. Appreciate And Take Care of Yourself
It is almost impossible to love anyone if you can’t love yourself first. Only by valuing yourself will others see what you are worth and respect it. That said, you need to take proper care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally. Doing so also shows how you wish others to treat you. As long as you are physically healthy, ambitious, friendly, well-rounded and confident, individuals attracted to such characteristics indeed show interest in you. It is better to date someone who appreciates and reciprocates your traits than those who fake it. It is also one of the best ways to prevent insecurities and resentment from infiltrating the relationship.
6. Make Yourself Available
Most people retreat to their homes/rooms when rejected or after a few failed relationships and dates. While rejection can be demoralizing, locking yourself up only reduces the chances of ever meeting anyone. Take every failed date or rejection as a learning experience and strive to do better. Start by making it easy to meet new people and make friends. Attend social events and outdoor activities, and even go out for dinner or a drink with a friend. Going out will make it easier to find and single out someone you might be interested in dating or someone interested in you. Work trips and networking events also make for a great avenue to meet people and make maximum use of these. It would also be advisable not to be hopeful of meeting someone whenever you go out. Just go out and let nature take its course, advise Dior.
Always take proper precautions when going out, especially in new neighborhoods. Make sure at least one of your friends knows where you are, park in a well-lit space, and only meet in public spaces until it is safe to meet alone.
7. Don’t Rush
While it is understandable to want to rush things, especially after a long stint of singlehood, rushing into a relationship isn’t always a good idea. It would be best if you took your time to at least learn about the person, know what they like/don’t like, and know their other version before investing your feelings in them. You will save yourself lots of time and frustration by learning about their character, interest, and future goals before committing to date them. Only get into a relationship if your interests and goals match. Never let anyone push you into dating them for whatever reason.
8. Keep A Positive Mindset
Although you’ll not always be positive, it is good to have a positive mindset when looking to or dating. Just because you had a bad experience with your ex doesn’t mean the same will happen with your current date. While it is good to maintain our boundaries, you’ll still need to show your fun and friendly side instead of staying guarded all the time.
